Confession #4 - Financial Whoa's and Lows!

At the end of the night, after the party was over, after our guests left, my hubby pulls some money from his pocket.  He had been given a nice fresh crisp $100 dollar bill by a friend that felt led to give it to us.  I was immediately shocked by the unexpected source of this monetary donation.  I know these kind folks don't really have extra and especially not $100 extra.  I told hubby that we couldn't keep it and that I felt very uncomfortable accepting it.  My flesh side was screaming "YEA, money!" deep down inside I really wanted to keep it, but my character and my integrity told me otherwise.  I had just spent money on a birthday party for my son and there was no way I could justify keeping money that could potentially put extra food on their table or gas in their car or whatever. So I slept on it, wanting to see what God would reveal to me.  The next morning I awoke, was chilled and decided on a hot bath, this is usually a great time for me to pray and talk to God.  Here's my bath-time revelation - we can't be trusted with little, so we shouldn't be trusted with this financial gift either, I am not relying on Him and trusting that He will provide and I also felt like this was a test of our integrity to see if we were "greedy" and this was a test of obedience.  I felt a lot of greed when I almost accepted their money but I knew that I could NOT take it.  So I made a beeline for her after bible study last night - I explained to her what I felt, I knew she would understand.  I didn't want to squash the blessing they bestowed upon us, but I knew once I explained, she'd not be disappointed.  She understands obedience and when God speaks - you do!

In the meantime, hubby is talking to her hubby.  Hubby said hubby was given the money for a tattoo and he felt it should be passed on, so it didn't come out of their pocket.  In a way I felt mislead.  But the best part was letting go of that money and releasing it back to someone else who could possibly use it - like them!!  We need it, but not as bad as someone else does.  God will come through for us.  Until then, we are still deep in the throws of a financial valley, but we are learning a lot about contentment and being happy with what we have and to learn to live a leaner life honoring God.